The Art of Slowing Down

 These days I have been bothered by the thought that I am slowing down. Somehow I feel frustrated with myself. It is as if I am not moving at the same pace I used to be. Now that I am in it, I want to learn to accept and be at peace with it.

It is frustrating to feel like you are not moving on in the world that moving so fast. Many things happen quickly and without realizing it, I am standing on the same dot. People are moving from dots to dots, from smaller ones to bigger ones. Jump and run, quick and precise.

By the time I realise it, there are a lot of feelings filling me up, most dominantly frustration, shame, anxiety, regret, and sadness. And all I want to do is run, run so quickly, to catch up with the world and to run out of these feelings. Even with all the weights I carry, I try to run.

But I want to do it differently this time, I want to stop for one, two, three minutes, or minutes after minutes I need to let go of things that weigh me down. I want to be free to move. Dr. Julie Smith said in her book "to experience the feelings fully". After that, I may be able to let go of it and run even quicker.

Now I try to stop and contemplate. I take some time to experience it, but not to get dragged into it. I think it is somehow tricky. Laa haula wa laa quwwata illa billah, Allah helps me get through it. I keep being reminded again and again of these things:

- This world is only temporary. When I went through social media, all posts are about the hereafter life. How could slowing down about the world achievement bothered me a lot when our ultimate goal is jannah? The thing worth a mind is whether I have prepared enough for the hereafter.

- Come back to Allah in every joy and sorrow. Every time you are stuck, there is no way out except with the permission of Allah. The first help you can get is from Allah, not the last one but the first one. Although eventually things will get better I believe, I think a moment like this, is the perfect momentum to be close and closer again to Allah. Not only do we want things to get better, or to get a solution, but we also want barakah... the blessings in every solution.

- Every little things happen for a good reason if we believe in Allah. My friends remind me of this thing. The things that Allah keeps away from us are either a sign that the things do not bring any good or Allah prepares something better best. The experience will bring us to our future better moment. Everything happens for a good reason and we just shall rejoice. Believe in good things ahead, if not in this world, then in the hereafter.

At some point, I cried out of gratitude. I am grateful that in hardship, Allah keeps reminding me of good things and surrounds me with good people. Good friends, the ones who remind you of Allah, are fancy. No joy could replace my gratitude for being surrounded by good friends. And thus, we always seek righteous friends.

اللَّهُمَّ يَسِّرْ لِي جَلِيسًا صَالِحًا

"O Allah! Bless me with a good pious companion"

Slowing down and stopping for a while is an art I think. For most of my life, I feel like my life was in a hurry. Now I shall enjoy the art.